The Virgin

My dictum:

Never hang around the doctors lounge if you're already depressed.

My deviant:

Never hang around the doctors lounge even if you're not depressed if 1. they have pizza there and you're on a diet, and 2. there's anyone else there.

"Doctors in this state are freakin' idiots!" proclaims the Virgin, an excellent, personable physician who had the misfortune of wandering, for the very first time, into the gunsights of the malpractice lawyers. "We could have gotten malpractice caps in this state if our lobbying efforts hadn't been so clearly pro-Republican. Now every Democrat in the state torpedoes any effort to clean things up around here, simply because it's the Republicans who introduce the reforms. We'll never get any meaningful tort reform around here."

We will when you and I resign, retire, or move out of this state, I thought.

"For the first time ever I was named in a lawsuit two weeks ago. The noneconomic damages are not terribly high, and I'm willing to take my chances in court with them on that. But they're asking for $5 million in non-economic and punitive damages. If I lose that, I'll be financially destroyed. I'll have to settle with those buttholes because our state medical association didn't have the sense to make tort reform a bipartisan issue."

I felt like a deer seeing it's mother getting blown away by the evil hunters. I certainly could empathize, so I endeavored to say the most encouraging things I could think of: "You arrogant fool! You're getting what you deserve. Just what do you intend to do about all the uninsured people in this country? How are you going to improve quality control? Economic ruin sounds about right for anyone crass enough to try to make money off the sick and dying. Feel free to call me any time. I'll always be here for you."