Putting off procrastination

Hard work may pay off later, but laziness always pays off now.
www.despair.com

Sometimes blogging is like flossing teeth: you know you should really do it, but you just got other things to do. Vacation in North Carolina was great, and, frankly, it's getting easier and easier to put the Internet off limits and do weird things like read books and talk to heretofore unidentified family members. Coming back home I encountered the usual Total Chaos that I expect from a week's absence, along with discovering that I'm on ER call and that I'm covering for another GI guy.

When faced with this brutality, I did the only thing a reasonable person could: go mountain biking.

Not the entire week, mind you. We went Wednesday morning, waking up at 6AM and getting an early start, before the suffocating heat and humidity of the Ohio Valley came on.

My son and I went out to a place so remote that we were seized by the urge to hum the theme song from "Deliverance" on our way out. Being amidst Nature's Wonder, communing with Gaia Herself was a special treat: we were surrounded by six very angry-looking deer who looked like they were holding us personally responsible for the death of Bambi's mother. We saw a giant spider drag off someone's goat. My son was almost killed by a chicken who darted in front of him while he was screaming downhill on a Ride of Death.

The whole thing was pretty cool.

So rather than discuss the malpractice crisis or explain why emotivism is killing our culture, I'll leave you with these infinitely more helpful thoughts:

• A cheater wheelie is just as good for the most part as a real wheelie and is a heck of a lot easier to do.
• The farther you stick your hindquarters back, the less likely you are to go endo.
• You don't have to be faster than the attacking spiders. Just be faster than your son.